January | setting the stakes
Welcome to the voices in my head! These themed months are going to be focused on a more subjective view of the things I think about when it comes to the home - more so our existence inside of the home - how we home. Writing more in general is already etched in as a goal for this year …and all the years that follow. For me, writing is both cathartic and functional. It serves as a means of therapy and frees the mind to think about the next thing on the list. My adult ADD thanks me for this freeing of mental space.
Last year, truthfully, was not an easy one. I have plenty of reasons to celebrate 2022, a million moments of laughter, my health to be thankful for, and a laundry list of accomplishments both big and small. I ended the year with so much grace and humility. …but it was also filled with tears and heartbreak and places I didn't think I'd find myself. It was filled with moments of revelation and devastation. The year has marked scars on my heart that have formed an undeniable layer of armor.
But with that, I found myself revived a little bit more. I found that vulnerability, as scary as that is, is a doorway to the soul. I found myself resurrected in the quiet space of my home. Those walls have surveyed quite a bit of the chapters that have made up my existence - proof that the home really does heal.
A friend of mind recently told me she wanted to “take up space” this year. Take up space. Those three words looped in my mind while all other senses left me for a bit. Take up space. When it comes to setting the stakes, it’s like setting your standards. When you build a home, after you prep the land, one of the first breaking ground actions is to set stakes in the ground to set the formation of the foundation. This is quite literally the first steps of construction that everything will sit on - the foundation.
My sister-in-law gets frustrated that my family talks in metaphors as a primary language. In fact, I’m critiqued quite a bit for it among my peer ground too (all in good humor). Setting the stakes though, whether it’s for the foundation of your home or the start of your year is probably the most vital first step you can take. Without this step, everything that follows will be a notch off. Every floor joist will be a little off. Every excuse will knock your standards off square just a tad. Every false intention will nudge you off your intended path. Without setting your stakes in the ground, you’re committing to a year built on wet sand.
You might be thinking “isn’t this just a goal list?” I mean maybe. For me, a goal list is something to achieve with endurance, which is surely a good thing. But setting the stakes feels more like a standard of living, a natural evolution of expectation in order to grow as a human.
Setting your stakes could simply mean the decision to wake up a little earlier each morning or wake up earlier just one day a week. This may come in the form of boundaries you set for the people you allow into your life. This may mean you commit to less time in front of the screens and more time in your garden. It will mean something different to you than it does to me. It will mean something different today than it does next year. And it will surely evolve as the year unfolds. It will appear as something really simple for some and really monumental for others - but the stakes must be set first before the rest of the year’s building begins.
I hope you find yourself in these words. I hope you find grace for yourself. Take up space this year. Set the stakes.
